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Comedian Ray Romano has a great quote about rearing a family: "Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." If that quote expresses the unpredictability, chaos, and general craziness of a house full of typical kids, raising neurodiverse kids ups the ante 10-fold. Whether our kids struggle with mental health issues, emotional challenges, or cognitive delays, learning to recognize their triggers, anticipate their demands, and advocate for their rights – all while juggling other family and work priorities, as well as our own needs – can be downright overwhelming.

When my son was a toddler, we moved to a new community, and I joined a neighborhood playgroup. I looked forward to getting to know other parents and building friendships while my kids played with their own new friends. But while the other boys and girls were beginning to build block towers together and giggle harmoniously, my son was off to the side, totally engaged with his toy and totally unengaged by anyone else in the room. Sometimes there were tears, sometimes there were tantrums. Rarely was there easy-going play time.

When my boys were young, there were days so challenging, the best I could do was to simply survive until bedtime. I was rushing, managing, pushing, and pulling just to get through the day. There was no time to stop and adjust, let alone smell the roses. I was barely keeping my head above water. It’s counterintuitive, but I have come to understand that those overwhelming times are when it is most important to take the time to adjust and even smell the roses.

January 1 is the day many of us create New Year’s resolutions and prepare ourselves for growth, learning and breakthroughs. For parents of neurodiverse children, especially young adults, we may wish to encourage self-improvement.

5 Tips to Ease Kids' Overwhelm at Gatherings.

Ah Holiday Time. Good food and good cheer. Peace and tranquility. Visions of sugarplums dancing in my head…

One afternoon years ago, at the end of the school day, my oldest son came bounding in through our mudroom door, exhilarated with important news from his fourth-grade class. “Mom!” he called out, “I have ADHD!” Yup, you certainly do, but fill me in please…

Growing up, I was one of those kids who loved playing with and caring for children. I babysat, created scavenger hunts for my little brother, and spent my favorite summers as a camp counselor. Not surprisingly, I always dreamed of a big family.