Parenting

Ah, Mother’s Day! Breakfast in bed, summer basil planted in the garden, peace and good will among all siblings… well, maybe. Mother’s Day invokes so many memories, sometimes I honestly get teary recounting the acts of love. And yet, motherhood for those of us raising neurodiverse children can be a different – and often difficult – path to travel. In appreciation of Sunday’s upcoming holiday, I offer these thoughts on raising our very special children.

I’m a patient person by nature. I don’t mind repeating myself, the incessant patter of noisy kids doesn’t bother me, and I am willing to put less-important goals on the backburner while I focus on more pressing needs. But let’s be real, sometimes our kids’ actions can test the very best of us.

When my boys were young, life was hectic. I mean up-in-the-middle-of-the-night, temper-tantrum, when-do-I-get-to-shower? kind of hectic. With four young boys, all falling under the neurodiverse umbrella, I was overtired, overwhelmed and over-extended. But I had some non-negotiables: I found time almost every day to exercise and spend time outdoors – for me, I knew I needed these things to stay mentally fit. I walked instead of driving to appointments that were close by, I used my lunch hour to fit in a run, and I took my boys on “adventure walks” on vacation days. My desire to stay active and feel the sun on my face isn’t for everyone, but the need to prioritize particular activities that help us stay whole when we are caring for others is universal.

On the heels of Valentines Day, I have been thinking about how we show our children love. Listening, I believe is the surest way to create an atmosphere where tenderness, respect and caring can thrive. To that end, I offer four lessons I have learned listening to my wonderful, noisy, neurodiverse sons.