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August 12, 2026Back-to-School: Make it Familiar to Reduce Stress
By Carol S. Siege, PCC
Founder, Family Pathways Coaching, LLC
When my boys were young, July and August were filled with summer camp and family vacation time. There were hikes and swimming and s’mores for everyone. And yet, in the back of my mind, I was always considering September’s return to school.
While summer may still be in full swing, parents of neurodiverse kids may already be worrying about how they can help their children start the year on a positive note, especially if they have struggled in the past. One point for parents to remember: Every new school year begins as a clean slate. It’s all brand new for our kids, but that means it’s also unfamiliar. The more you can help your child reduce uncertainty, the less stressful that first day will be.
Read on for tips to prepare for a successful new school year.
Start at Home
While summer months are meant to be enjoyed at a slower pace – longer days that stretch into later nights – parents know the school bus won’t wait forever. And yet, as parents can attest, transitions are challenging. Switching from vacation mode to school days requires a gradual resetting of expectations. It may sound trite, but getting back to school on the right foot starts with a good night’s sleep. As recommended by both the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM), parents should avoid abrupt changes and instead adjust morning and bedtime routines slowly before the first day of school – I gave my kids two weeks to get used to new schedules. Referencing a decades-long body of evidence, the AAP recommends kids maintain regular sleep habits for better behavior, emotional regulation, and overall health, all of which are particularly important for neurodiverse kids.
Consider School Partnerships
Every year before the first day of school, I reached out to my children’s homeroom teachers and school support team for a few reasons. I wanted to introduce my children to school officials. I wanted to start a conversation about my children’s needs. And I wanted to build a foundation of partnering between home and school. If your child has a 504 or IEP (Individualized Education Plan), your child’s needs will already have been reviewed, discussed, and established by school staff. Starting a conversation with your teachers early in the school year, though, will help establish a foundation of trust and cooperation. As noted by Prof. Emerita Dr. Sandra Christenson of the University of Minnesota, the most successful family-school partnerships “share responsibility for a student's learning and development through mutual respect, communication, and shared problem solving."
Help Your Child Prepare
My sons’ relationships to the classroom varied, from one to the other and from year to year. For one son, school was a safe haven, a place where rules were followed and the world made sense. Another was frustrated if he didn’t understand the purpose of a teacher’s assignments. In either case, I found a classroom visit before the school year started was helpful every year, whether they were attending the same or a new school. For children who struggle with anxiety or have had challenges in the classroom, meeting a teacher, walking the halls, and even time on the playground helps develop familiarity, which in turn reduces stress. It also gives teachers a chance to meet their students before first day busy-ness, beginning their relationship in a calmer atmosphere. At home, I made time for conversation and questions. As clinical psychologists note, our children do not need us to have all the answers; they need us to allow space for open dialogue.
Prepare Yourself
Just as kids need time to adjust to back-to-school routines, parents also may need help transitioning. In addition to changing schedules, parents of neurodiverse children have unique challenges to consider. Our kids may return home from school exhausted by new expectations, social situations, and work that relies heavily on executive functioning skills. Home may be the place they let out all of the stress they held in throughout the school day. To help ease into new commitments and environments, parents might reduce after-school activities and other potential stressors, especially for kids already working hard to adapt to change. Take time to check your calendar in advance to make sure your kids and you are prepared for what’s to come. Advance planning takes time to develop and implement, and yet it can make all the difference in how ready we feel for the new school year.
If you or someone you know is worried about their neurodiverse child starting a new school year, reach out! As a Certified Professional Coach with addition training as an ADHD parent coach, I help parents see life really can be so much better.
