Beyond the Grade: Building Lifelong Learners
August 27, 2026
Executive Functioning: The Skills Behind Success
By Carol S. Siege, PCC
Founder, Family Pathways Coaching, LLC
When my boys were young, I remember sitting in a lecture hall in the public high school listening to a guidance counselor talk about executive functioning skills… Huh? I didn’t know what that meant, let alone how my boys were being affected by any deficits. All these years later, I understand the significance of these skills in my boys’ ability (or inability) to prioritize, organize, and manage their work and life.
Executive functioning challenges are not limited to people who struggle with neurodiverse traits, and yet those who have ADHD, learning differences or are on the spectrum are significantly more likely to struggle with executive functioning and benefit from additional supports and strategies.
While research continues to expand on our understanding of executive functioning skills – how we use them and how we can improve upon them – one widely used framework comes from neuroscientist Dr. Adele Diamond, whose influential 2013 review identifies three core executive functions:
- Inhibitory Control – The ability to control one’s attention, behavior, thoughts, and emotions rather than acting impulsively.
- Working Memory – The ability to hold information in one’s mind and mentally work with it.
- Cognitive Flexibility – The ability to change perspectives, shift approaches, and adapt to changing demands.
Executive functioning isn't one skill. It's a collection of interconnected cognitive processes that help us regulate our thinking and behavior in order to accomplish a goal. Think of them as the brain’s management system, or as described by ADHD parent coach and author Cindy Goldrich, “The Board of Directors that helps you do what you decide to do.” Executive functioning skills include a host of abilities that develop and become more specialized over time. While in young children, research suggests that these abilities are highly interconnected, they become increasingly differentiated as children develop.
So how do executive functioning challenges show up in our neurodiverse school age children? Drawing from 8 Keys to Parenting Kids & Teens with ADHD, 2nd Edition, by Cindy Goldrich here are some of the skills children may struggle with, along with practical ways parents can provide support.
- Task Initiation/ Activation -- The ability to begin a task without undue procrastination. Try breaking down long-term assignments into smaller, manageable tasks with individual deadlines.
- Working Memory -- The ability to keep multiple bits of information in mind and apply them to a task. Try using visual aids and step-by-step instructions for complex projects.
- Planning and Organizing -- Creating and prioritizing order and structure. Try color-coding materials by subject to simplify organization.
- Processing Speed (a related cognitive skill) -- The time it takes to process and respond. Try breaking down multi-step instructions into smaller pieces.
- Attention -- The ability to sustain focus for tasks that are challenging or uninteresting. Try creating quiet, activity specific areas or using headphones to reduce auditory and visual distractions during independent work times.
- Flexible Thinking -- The ability to take feedback and adapt. Try generating more than one solution.
- Emotional Regulation – The ability to manage emotional responses, particularly when frustrated, disappointed, or overwhelmed. Try preparing for transitions with advance warnings and detailed plans.
- Self-Monitoring -- Using “self-talk” to monitor and regulate one’s behavior and direct future actions. Try utilizing external prompts like timers and checklists to help a child learn to stop, check their progress, and make adjustments.
If your child is struggling at home or at school to maintain focus, manage frustration, get started, persist through challenging work, or keep track of what needs to be done, consider looking beyond the behavior to the executive functioning skills the task requires. What looks like laziness, defiance, or a lack of motivation may actually reflect a child who doesn't yet have the skills to meet the demands being placed on them. As clinical psychologist and author Dr. Ross Greene reminds us, “Kids do well when they can.”
Our job as parents isn't to become our children's executive functioning system forever, but rather to recognize where they are struggling and provide the structure, strategies, and support they need now while gradually helping them accept more responsibility. A checklist, reminder, or advance warning isn't necessarily a crutch; it can be scaffolding that helps a child develop skills and eventually independence.
Executive functioning evolves throughout childhood and adolescence, and children develop these abilities at different rates. When we understand what is getting in the way, we can transcend judgement and ask the more useful question: “What skill or support does my child need in order to do this successfully?”
If you or someone you know has a child struggling with executive functioning skills, reach out! As a Certified Professional Coach with addition training as an ADHD parent coach, I help parents see life really can be so much better.
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