Back-to-School: Make it Familiar to Reduce Stress
August 12, 2026Beyond the Grade: Building Lifelong Learners
By Carol S. Siege, PCC
Founder, Family Pathways Coaching, LLC
What does it mean when your child refuses to read a book, complains about every math problem or science lab? When they are oppositional to anything academic at all? What looks like defiance may actually be your child’s way of sending you a message: This is hard, and I don’t feel successful.
In middle school, one of my sons – who was articulate, noticeably intelligent, and yet struggled with dyslexia and ADHD – often refused to do his homework, particularly long-term projects. He struggled with executive functioning skills, which made organizing, prioritizing, and managing the work overwhelming. He didn’t know how to start, where to focus his attention, or when he was done.
For Deborah Notis, co-founder of GAMECHANGER Tutoring Connection, these are signs that your child is not feeling successful in the classroom. And when our kids believe they’re falling short, they lose confidence. Students with learning differences and ADHD are at greater risk of developing a negative academic self-concept – a diminished belief in their abilities as a learner -- especially when their capacity to understand the concepts does not coincide with test results and grades. Over time, repeated academic struggles can also contribute to learned helplessness. Our kids may come to believe no amount of effort will change the outcome, even when they are capable of succeeding.
The GAMECHANGER philosophy pushes back against these assumptions and focuses instead on helping students become lifelong learners. A lifelong learner keeps mastering new skills and gaining knowledge long after finishing school. When we open ourselves up to learning, we develop a greater appreciation of the world and an ability to understand bigger perspectives, Ms. Notis says. And when students find strategies to help them feel competent in the classroom, the positive effect can flow into the rest of their lives.
“It’s about making them successful humans,” Ms. Notis said. “We can’t guarantee your child is going to get into a certain college or make certain grades.” Instead, GAMECHANGER tutors, she said, focus on helping your kids “succeed in what they want to do.”
For students who have dyslexia (affecting reading and language processing), dysgraphia (affecting writing skills), dyscalculia (affecting math and number sense) and other neurodivergent traits, private tutoring can help students improve study and test-taking strategies based on their individual needs. So for students who do not have strong executive functioning skills, tutors may use color-coding, flash cards, or recorded lessons. Students may need to learn how to take useful notes and translate the knowledge they have into classroom success.
At GAMECHANGER, students are paired with appropriate tutors based not only on specific academic needs, but also personality and preferred ways of working. Ms. Notis likened their business to a matchmaking service, noting the importance of rapport between student and teacher. “There’s nothing typical in this work,” she said, meaning every student comes with their own set of challenges and gifts. “We work with everything and everyone.”
In addition to having unique needs, some kids also may relate to motivation differently. The most successful tutors are able to understand not only what motivates a particular child, but also how they are most likely to stay engaged. Kids with ADHD, for example, often respond better when goals are manageable, feedback is frequent and immediate, and rewards don’t feel too far away. The author and clinical psychologist Dr. Ross Greene notes, “Kids do well when they can.” In other words, though a child may look like they are procrastinating or avoiding their assignments, they may actually just lack the skills or supports necessary to meet the demands being placed on them. Children with ADHD or learning differences may be willing to work hard and motivated to do well – they just need the tools that will allow them to succeed.
GAMECHANGER Tutoring Connection was co-founded by Ms. Notis and Marilyn Rifkin approximately 15 years ago. They have about 70 tutors available to work in-person or remotely. They provide services that range from homework help to special education tutoring to college prep and post-college career placement.
Quick Tips from Deborah Notis:
- Constant complaints about a particular subject or school in general may be a red flag – pay attention.
- To teach our kids successfully, we must start by meeting them where they are.
- Help children identify the strategies that work for them. The earlier the better, though it’s never too late to start.
If you or someone you know is struggling to support a child who is frustrated or overwhelmed by school, reach out! As a Certified Professional Coach with additional training in ADHD parent coaching, I help parents see life really can be so much better.
