An Unexpected Journey

By Carol S. Siege, PCC

Founder, Family Pathways Coaching, LLC

Growing up, I was one of those kids who loved playing with and caring for children. I babysat, created scavenger hunts for my little brother, and spent my favorite summers as a camp counselor. Not surprisingly, I always dreamed of a big family.

My dream was unfolding as my family started growing. First one son, then another, and then… something was wrong. Starting at around age two, our second son was noticeably changing, emotionally and physically. We wondered why he had gone from an engaged and cheerful toddler to an angry and sometimes violent one. What could have made his world draw in around him so fast and so soundly?

We visited an array of doctors and therapists, and at age four he received a diagnosis: Asperger’s Syndrome, a diagnosis which eventually morphed into autism when the term Asperger’s was retired in 2013. 

Shortly afterward, our oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD, as it became clear that his behaviors --so different from his peers – were infringing on his development.

Sometimes a diagnosis can offer relief – at least we know what we’re dealing with now. But for us, our first reaction was fear. Fear of the future, fear of the unknown, fear of what life would be like for us and our children.

In truth, the first few years after our second son’s early diagnosis of Asperger’s (autism) were not promising. He struggled in school. He struggled with his peers. He struggled to regulate his body and his emotions. He ultimately was diagnosed with the co-morbid conditions of ADHD, OCD and dyslexia.

Still, we loved both of our sons immensely.  And their situations didn’t stop us from wanting that big family I’d dreamed about since I was a child. As it turned out, we had four boys – each one considered  “neurodiverse”. 

Our house could go from raucous fun to disastrous mayhem at the flip of a switch, and that required constant vigilance, playdates cut short, and life kept to a tight, well-regulated schedule. But as challenging as everyday life was, I always knew there was hope.